It’s All I Really Want to Do

(Meditating on Psalm 75)

I will sing praises to the God of Jacob. (Psalm 75:9)

I sit on our patio on a dark, chilly night. The evening breeze fans my tired body and I wish I brought a wrap with me. I sit long and silent. Alone after the enemy had attacked again, this time bringing me down to the ground, wreaking havoc to my emotional balance and giving me more than a pity party. I had stopped wondering why challenges and painful trials come and go. I’ve become used to them. I have learned that these are all part of the life of a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. But what I just realized now is the fact that we can never really achieve perfection in our life on earth. I mean, perfection in our service to God and others.

We may aim for it: a perfect day that bears the Spirit’s fruit, giving glory to God in all we do. But more often than we would like it to be, it doesn’t happen that way. Challenges and trials come to test our patience and endurance, and we succumb to them and fail miserably, our human nature gaining the upper hand.

So, I think of all these in the aftermath of yet another storm in my life, and I realize that the pain comes from my not wanting to surrender fully to God’s tests and refining. I am resisting God’s plan behind the difficulties because I don’t want to suffer any longer. Because I am thinking and believing that I don’t deserve any more of this. But I am wrong. Whatever comes, I must bow down low before God – no complaints, no discontent, no dismay, no resentments. Just a humble yielding to Him. There is a release in that.

When I choose the proper time,
I will judge uprightly. 
(v. 2)

Do not lift up your horn on high;
Do not speak with a stiff neck. 
(v. 5)

Though my whole being pulsates pain and weariness, I want to sing and give glory to Him. This is really all I want to do. For even though there are trials, His goodness is seen in my life.

And so I sing and raise my hands. The sky is becoming deeper and deeper blue. The leaves rustle.

We give thanks to You, O God, we give thanks!
For Your wondrous works declare that Your name is near. 
(v. 1)

(Photo courtesy of my friend Perla Notario Frisberg).
I’m linking up with other blogs, please check the list at the side bar.

8 comments on “It’s All I Really Want to Do

  1. Joanie says:

    Dear Rina, bless you and blessed be the Name of the Jesus Savior!!! I so identify with what you shared. My, my how good God’s timing is. I had just written to a friend saying the “enemy” and “self” tried to get me down, but the KIng is reigning in my heart and I am full of joy. (tho I did not “feel’ like it at all this morn.) I so appreciate what you shared, so true, and precious. In Abba Father’s Arms we can rest. Much hugs to you, Rina,

    • RinaPeru says:

      Praising God for blessing you with this, Joanie. As I had cried out to God last night, “Save me from myself, O Father!” It is so true for all of us sometimes. Hugs and blessings!

  2. The photo you chose is beautiful… and so is the blog post. Often when the clouds are darkest, it is hard to choose to worship and praise. As Mother Teresa said, “Just begin”!

  3. A Proverbs 31 Wife says:

    So beautiful, you often inspire me. I know I don’t comment often, but since I popped over here from a blog hop (not realizing it was you) I thought I would leave a note and say thanks 🙂

  4. Anne says:

    These words are very inspiring. SOmetime I feel I am alone, that God is allowing me to be attacked by Satan! Then I come to my senses and realize how many are hurting. Today I ask for prayer for a child named Kaydence. The family is hurting. She had some medical tests and they don’t look good. Also prayers for Rondi. Her path report came back:Cancerous! She has no health insurance. My mother use to always say “Life is hard, pray harder.” Thank you for sharing.

  5. Pamela says:

    The devil fights but does he realize he isn’t going to win? That God’s word is always right and true and encourages even the most tired heart and body? Your faithfulness in spite of continual pain and frustration is a joy to read about. You touch more people than you know.

  6. Wendy @ EC1 says:

    Heavenly Father
    Please be the lifter of Rena’s head
    Strengthen her in the battle
    And may she continue to shine brightly for You.

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