The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)
The above verse is my life verse. It just about sums up my life story, my testimony. For those who are new to Healing Moments, you may click these links to read more of my story: Found in Him, Only Jesus, Holy Encounters with Jesus: The Woman Taken in Adultery.
Notice that the verse has two parts:
A life in sin
A life in Jesus
A life in darkness, a life in the light. A life in fear, a life in peace. A life in misery, a life in joy. A life defeated, a life victorious. A life that leads to death, a life that leads to eternal life.
This is the formula of life. The Lord Jesus Christ couldn’t have expressed it more clearly, but to the ones who are ignorant of His words of life, patient and physician – both will stay lost in the dark.
Such was my experience…
I wait for this priest in a small parish near my office. The secretary has told me he has many engagements for the whole day, but I tell her I will wait anyway. And at lunch time, the young priest attends to me. I tell him I’m sick and I don’t know how I could find healing, having seen many specialists and gone through various tests. He tells me, quoting the words of the Apostle Paul, “For when I’m weak, then, I’m strong.” I don’t really understand it, but he’s in a hurry so I must leave.
Dusk is falling, my whole being is trembling with fear, my mind just can’t find rest, and I know I can’t face another night like this. So, I drive to this bigger parish far from home, the one where my husband and I were married. I wait, again, for the priest, this time to finish his cigarette. He inhales long, one last of that toxic smoke, tosses the cigarette butt to the ground, then motions me to follow him. We talk and he advises me to see a psychiatrist. He recommends one whom he used to see. I leave the church more depressed than ever.
I wait for days before I finally decide to see a psychiatrist. I choose a female thinking that maybe it would be more comfortable for me. For weeks my body and mind have been feeling so weak, and my heart has been constantly in fear and anxiety. I enter into a dimly-lit room. There are two cozy chairs, the psychiatrist is sitting in one. We talk. I tell her about my life for the past two years, and how I so want to make it right. I tell her how I want to leave the darkness and emerge into the light. That maybe then I will heal.
She tells me that it’s perfectly okay to follow my heart, to choose that relationship which makes me happy. She speaks while I stare hard at the painting on the wall. She sounds just like my self-help books. This is a dead-end road. There’s definitely no hope here. I stare as my world becomes dimmer.
I buy the pills she prescribed – five kinds or so. I don’t know what they are. She told me they will help lift up my spirit. I didn’t believe her, but I buy them anyway. Now I stare at them, 5 little white rounds on top of the dark granite counter. How can these tiny tablets help me? How can they take away the sin, the guilt, the shame, the confusion, the darkness, the heaviness, the hopelessness, the illness, the sense of being so lost? How can they bring in joy and peace? It’s just not possible! I swallow them and I know I just burrowed my soul deeper into darkness and hopelessness.
My ailing body wants to reject the pills. I shake to the core so hard I just think my whole being will come undone and my breath will fail. With 2 thick blankets, a comforter and my husband’s body pinning me down, the pills kick in and I go into a deep sleep.
The next day when I woke up at noon, my body feeling like it was alloyed with lead (I felt literally heavy and stiff), I prayed. A simple, short prayer but nevertheless reached heaven’s mercy seat.
What the devil has stolen, destroyed and killed cannot be restored, fixed, or revived by any other but the Redeemer, Restorer, and Savior Jesus Christ. The cure-all for the spirit’s maladies is the blood of Jesus – His very life.
…I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (portion of John 10:10)
Linked up with Titus 2sday, Domestically Divine, Encourage My Heart, Teach Me Tuesday, State of the Heart, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Women Living Well, Women in the Word Wednesday, Faith Filled Friday, Spiritual Sundays, Sharing His Beauty