Years ago when I was grappling with the impact of my sudden illness that strapped me in bed all day, and even just to close my eyes and succumb to weariness was a scary thing, I would imagine the Lord Jesus Christ coming in the clouds with all His glory. I would imagine Him there suspended in the clouds while all of creation beholds Him, and I would take comfort and joy, amidst the pain and suffering and fear, in thinking that He’s coming back for me at last. That was my shining hope. It still is.
Only now, I scarcely imagine Him coming in the clouds, for I’ve slowly learned to take joy in the things around me, as my body gradually heals. As I began to relearn to dream, to aspire, to plan, even with my fragile health, feelings of sadness and frustrations are increasing as I draw joy more and more from my dreams.
Sure I haven’t given up my desire to travel and testify and share the Gospel, and this is a noble dream to have, aligned with the will of God. But I also dream (yearn!) of tending my home and family myself. I dream of remodeling our kitchen – mahogany cabinets, granite countertops, overhead oven – and working in it myself, not the maids. I dream of rising up early in the morning, praising and worshiping God longer, of preparing breakfast for my family and see the kids off to school with their healthy lunch packed neatly in their boxes, of walking through our garden, tending the plants, growing my own kitchen garden…
I long to travel with my family to distant places once again, to see Europe, North America…
I hurt and I hunger, for all these remain a dream. When I cook, I’m assisted by maids. They bring everything to me on my working table, and that is outside of our kitchen for it would be tedious for me to be working there.
So I dream some more and the more I do it, the more I hunger and it is really painful. And I want to look for a way out. There must be a hidden wisdom somewhere to shed light to this kind of hunger and waves of wistfulness, and set me free! And while I pondered, I was given this:
29 But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. 30 Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. 31 Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.
32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. (1 Cor. 7: 29-35 NLT)
My dreams are not selfish, but if God is not giving fulfillment to any of them, as yet, I should not despair. I have been examining my heart lately and maybe the problem lies in our desire to have lives here on earth pat – perfect health, beautiful house and garden, blissful marriage, good kids, wonderful vacations, and whatever we desire that we believe would make our lives full.
But I’ve been thinking that if God filled us with all these, would we still desire Him? Would we still feel those pangs of hunger for Him? I think not. If all our treasures are here on earth, now, all the things that our hearts wish for, would we still long for heaven? No. I believe our hearts will stay earth-bound.
But the Lord Jesus counsels us to lay up treasures in heaven, for where our treasure is, there will our hearts be also (Mat. 6:21). That’s where our sights should be. That’s where all our desires and efforts should be geared towards. Lay up treasures in heaven, not on earth, for this world is passing away.
I believe God purposely leaves out places in us empty so He Himself would fill them. I believe these are present to curb the wayward tendencies of the heart. For if our lives are full now – wealth, honor, power, strength, pleasures – then we have our reward. But the Lord has reserved our rewards in heaven and He delights to present them to us when He returns.
Related: The Blessing of Hunger
Linked to Titus 2sday, Domestically Divine, Encourage My Heart, Teach Me Tuesday, State of the Heart, Women in the Word Wednesday, Proverbs 31 Thursday, Faith Filled Friday, Spiritual Sundays, Sharing His Beauty, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Walk with Him Wednesdays