(photo source: Google images)
A while back, I wrote 5 Points for a Stronger Marriage, a quite serious spiritual advice on successful marriage. This time, I’m sharing a set of simple tips on how to enjoy each other in every day.
1. Be the Best of Friends
I have heard women say that they married their best friend and that’s just wonderful! But for those of us who did not, it’s never too late to develop a friendship with our spouses, one thats is so special and intimate it blesses each other and makes the marriage stronger.
Just as how we are with our bestie (best friend) – being ourselves in the good times and the bad, loving, caring, and just being stubbornly there for each other – how much more blessed and wonderful if we are that with our spouses? For what could be a more special – sacred – relationship than that of being with the “flesh of our flesh, and bone of our bone” (Gen. 2:23)?
Besties talk delightedly to each other, listening to each other with genuine interest and confiding in each other trustingly. They enjoy each other’s company so much they spend as much time together as possible.
Well, do these to our spouses! We don’t have to leave the house to look for the friendship we’ve been longing for. With consistent prayers, turn the man or woman we married into our best friends.
2. Maintain a Healthy and Refreshing “Communication Life”
One of the fruits of being best of friends with our spouses is having a healthy and refreshing “communication life”. What could be more satisfying than to be able to talk with each other about anything under the sun? Things that stimulate, inspire, and encourage one another, and make each other laugh out loud.
I remember my beloved parents. It was their practice to wake up very early in the morning when it was still dark and talk while in bed. We would be awakened by their hushed voices and stifled chuckles. In their morning conversations, they never criticized each other nor were rude to one another. They genuinely enjoyed talking and listening to each other’s stories. My beloved parents were best friends. In fact, their endearment for each other was giyem (an Ilocano word for kaibigan or friend).
Some years ago, after my cousin’s husband died, I went to visit her. She told me she was okay but said that it was hard not to have her husband around to talk with. In all their life together, my cousin missed her conversations with her husband most of all.
Indeed, having a healthy communication life with our spouses helps us through difficult times.
3. Be a Source of Inspiration and Encouragement to Each Other
Do we think we inspire our spouses to be better persons, husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, employers, leaders, writers, or whatever role they play? Or, are we the source of pain, annoyance, sorrow, and heaviness for them? Rudeness, snapping, saying hurting and cruel words – these all wound the heart and can destroy a marriage.
Do our spouses seek our company because they enjoy it and know that they will be encouraged, comforted, uplifted with our words? Or do they do their best to avoid talking to us because they know we are too critical and/or hostile and we often turn the talk into a sermon or we don’t really relish long conversations and have no time for such?
The most important question we must ask ourselves is: Do they see the Lord Jesus in us?
Being a source of inspiration and encouragement to our spouses is truly the best thing we could do for them.
Additional resource: Kindness and Wisdom
4. Be Willing to Sacrifice for Each Other
The strength of a marriage is tested through hard times. This is when love goes deeper, and at the same time, higher – to a loftier state. This is the love that sacrifices.
There are times that my beloved husband has to sacrifice some minutes of precious sleep just to massage my legs so I could go to sleep comfortably, or warm up some snacks in the wee hours of the morning to appease my painful stomach and difficult breathing. In return, I would do my best to reciprocate his sacrifice by baking goodies and serve them hot just when he arrives from the office.
Doing these daily sacrifices gladly and without murmurings or complaints is a most noble thing and truly pleasing in God’s sight.
5. Do Not Neglect to Spend Sweet Moments Together
And I’m talking romance here. I believe we all have our own ways and styles of doing this?
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My gratitude list – thankful to the Lord for His gifts:
- watching Tim munch on a warmed, fudgy homemade chocolate muffin
- homemade mango ice cream which the family loves
- Hannah’s 11th birthday and all the beautiful ways the Lord has been blessing her ~ I haven’t enough words to thank Him!
- the pashmina shawl my little brother brought me from his visit to Singapore
- that Tagalog worship song the worship leader sang last overnight worship service which lifted me up to blissful, spiritual heights