Before I had my illness in 2003, we loved to travel. Even though my husband and I were estranged then, we traveled as a family and we really enjoyed being together. As early as March in 2006, when I was already able to travel to different places in our country (that is, except by plane), we did so every week during summer. We attended crusades of our Church and we also took vacations on the side. It was a most blessed and exhilarating experience for our family.
In 2007, I got pregnant with our second child. This was a most wished-for thing for me – for our daughter Hannah to have a little brother. So, even though I hadn’t completely recovered, we welcomed it with all our hearts and more. I’ve written some time ago how my baby and I struggled in the hospital. When my beloved husband observed that I was finally making some little movements in my hospital bed, he whispered to my ear that our baby Tim is strong and healthy. It was only then that I remembered I was there to deliver my baby! I was THAT weak and unwell. [I wrote about that here].
After that, it was hard for me to travel again, until now. I get easily fatigued. I wouldn’t be honest if I say that my heart doesn’t long to travel with my family again. Oh, I do desire it so much! And the thought of it often makes me really sad. For now, I simply dream for our family to be able to spend Christmas vacation even as near as Canyon Woods where we have a property and we can avail of the splendid amenities there. I humbly pray that God would pour out His favor upon us!
In one of those times where I was thinking and pining over my heart’s desires, the Lord spoke in my heart. He said, “Pursue love before healing.” He said it so gently and lovingly that I was instantly stirred from my languishing. My whole being was suddenly filled with joy and inspiration as I pondered on the words of the Lord.
Pursue love before healing. Not that it endlessly flees from me, but I understand it this way: put love first before myself. Put love first – my family, the people around me, the poor and the needy – before myself. Place love first – my service to the Lord – before my own desires.
The Lord Jesus has been patiently working on me, teaching me not to be selfish, and I know that I have learned a lot and am doing my best to live it.
There are so many things I’m thankful to the Lord for, but this one thing I really rejoice in everyday: the inspiration and joy He gives, for me to live life fully despite my physical condition. Morning by morning, to be awakened by Him with fresh inspiration to live, to walk before Him, to know Him more, to do the things that are pleasing in His sight – brings pleasure and joy!
And to be challenged yet again – to pursue love and beauty before healing – proves that I’m considered worthy, thought of, and infinitely looked upon by the sweet Savior! To pursue love and beauty in every day – just the thought of it is glorious! To pursue Love (Him) and beauty (His light, His presence!) – is a most noble mission that would open a continuous stream of hope, inspiration and joy.
How about you, dear friends? What are your present pursuits that bring you joy and inspiration in every day? I’d love for you to share your heart and thoughts. Thank you and may God bless you more and more!
My gratitude list:
~ My little Tim lisping through Laura Story’s Grace. He loves singing it!
~ Bible Study with Hannah which turned out to be heart-revealing as the Word of God intended it to be; those precious moments when we have heart-to-heart talk.
~ God’s tender mercies in suffering moments.
~ God’s gentle reminders
~ new plump pillows
~ ham and cheese muffins that I made which my bel. husband liked.
~ waking up to the warmth of my beloved husband right beside me.
~ beautiful photos of the things around us that we can take any time.