(photo source)

When we were kids, my friend’s father went to the states leaving behind a hopeful wife and five children. For them, this would be a great opportunity for a better, more prosperous life. My friend was the youngest.

After some time, my friend’s mother received a parcel from the U.S. They were divorce papers that her husband wanted her to sign. My friend’s family was shattered and their hearts were torn to shreds. My friend grew up without knowing the love of a father.

When we were kids, even before I entered grade school, my father worked in Guam, USA. After every few years, he would come home. And when it was time for him to go back, my mother and I would see him off at Clark Air Base in Angeles City. My mother would be crying the whole trip home.

Several times a year, we would receive a big box. My father sent us clothes, toys, housewares, personal care products, plenty of Hershey’s chocolates, and a whole lot more. He knew exactly what we liked. On our birthdays, he never forgot to send us cards with his loving dedications. My mother compiled them neatly in big photo albums including our pictures and our father’s. Every month or so, a photographer (the only one in town then) would come to our house to take our pictures. My siblings and I would stand side-by-side according to age forming a stair-like formation. My mother regularly sent our photos to our father.

Then the time came that my father’s contract would expire and if he couldn’t secure another work visa, he could no longer work there. There were people who advised him to “temporarily” divorce our mother, marry an American citizen to get himself a green card, then divorce the “temporary” wife and return to his family. They said that in that way, he could get us to Guam, too.

My father didn’t want to do it, so he came home to us and never left. And I grew up having a loving father, through poverty and through prosperity.

There are a myriad reasons why marriages implode and families shatter to pieces, but one of those that stand out is the accessibility to many available options. Some laws have been made not to prevent a crime or wrongdoing but to legalize the doing of it. Such laws as same-sex marriages and abortion are just a few examples. Divorce is easily accessible in most countries for any and every reason making marriage almost without binding power. I saw a movie before where a man introduced his beaming wife who was standing close beside him with her hand hooked around his elbow. And he said, “I’d like you to meet my future ex-wife.”

This has become a reality. How can a spouse have a feeling of security when the options have become stronger than the bond, when laws have empowered more the dissolution of marriage than its fortification? But this wasn’t so in the beginning.

…They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’, and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Mat. 19:3-8 NIV)

In this day and age, there are a plethora of options that are available to man and which could easily make him double-minded. A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8). In the sea of options where we could easily drown and get lost, it is best to focus our eyes on the Lord Jesus, on His Word and perfect will for us.

The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. (Mat. 6:22)

This post is linked to Domestically Divine, Women Living Well, Women in the Word Wednesday, Raising Homemakers, Proverbs 31 Thursday, Brag on God Friday, Spiritual Sundays, Sharing His Beauty

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9 comments on “Options

  1. Amy says:

    What a wonderful lesson your father lived for you by his example of putting his marriage and family above the work visa. I think it’s sad that some people have come to view marriage as temporary nowadays and it’s an area of my life where I find it crucial to focus on God’s teachings. Have a blessed day!

  2. Lory says:

    A tribute to a great father and a good husband, Fantastic. This blog is good for all the man in the world. They need to learn how important to treasure their family. A good Father is the foundation of a good family.
    You are truly blessed to have both of them. ^_^ God knows his children and blessed them. Have a great day to all.

  3. Xy-Za says:

    I honor my father for choosing our family over money. Opportunities abroad are overwhelming, but choosing to stay with us and earn just enough for everyone is a humble gesture of showing how he value our family ties.

    I have friends who are experiencing a lot of troubles because of the options available now in this world. A lot of families where shuttered and hearts broken. I even witness my ex-bf family shuttered into piece when his father came home from Taiwan (OFW) bringing a very sad news that he had relationship with someone else. And probably because of anger, his mother ended up with having someone too. Now, they say they dont have room for reconciliation and opted for annulment. I can see how devastated the family was, most specially his siblings.

    I still pray for their family to be healed, even if we didn’t end up being together.

    • RinaPeru says:

      Xy-za, I had a lump in my throat while reading your comment. Yes, it’s so distressing to see that there are so many families breaking to pieces because people think that their choices would be for the better. I used to think that way, too. But this is not the will of God, for He wants that families stay strong.

      For these broken families, we’ve to continue to pray, for nothing is impossible with God. There have been so many testimonies in our Church of families being restored and husbands and wives reconciling even after being estranged for a long time. There is HOPE.

      Thank you and have a wonderful weekend!

  4. If only couples realized that God comes first in every marriage. Then the choices would be His alone. I am happy your Dad made the right choice. I pray other marriages seek out God and make Him their decision maker. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Gayle says:

    Excellent words, and I loved hearing your story of your father. My son-in-law’s dad was military and left his family in the Philippines and did not come back. Eventually they made their way to the states. My son-in-law now lives a mile from his “dad” but he has never met him and he does not know his grandchildren. My son-in-law of course, does not feel like he was a dad to him. I have always thought how much he missed. And of course darling little grandchildren that we get to enjoy!
    Blessings from Behind the Gate

    • RinaPeru says:

      It’s so good to hear you have a half-Filipino for a son-in-law. Your son-in-law’s story is quite common for most Fil-Ams: a U.S. military dad, a Filipina wife, and family, and the heartbreaking abandonment when U.S. military left the Philippines. But there are also happy stories.

      God’s wonderful blessings be upon you today!

  6. Charlotte says:

    I’m so glad your dad made the right choice. You were and are blessed to have such a loving family. The story of your friend is heartbreaking. When we are given more options than God has given us we have too many options.
    Many blessings,

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