Marriage Needs More: 5 Points for a Stronger Marriage

(Source: Google images)

I’ve written a while back that marriages’ only hope is Jesus Christ. I’ve discussed there our testimony about our wrecked marriage and how the Lord had restored it.

I see a lot of articles and blog posts about marriage and I was thinking that I need not join the fray as I’m not a marriage expert. But I can see how my marriage is thriving and it is for this reason that I would like to share what we have.

  • God and His Word Rule in Our Marriage

Ever since we surrendered our lives to the Lord Jesus Christ, He has turned our marriage around. Because He has changed us completely, making us new creations being reborn in His Spirit, we, my husband and I, also changed our relationship with each other. We began to treat each other as what and who the Lord has recreated us to be: new creations. Gone was the past and all its hurts, wounds, and darkness.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Cor. 5:17)

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God’s presence in a marriage and obedience to His Word by both the spouses are imperative. These must make up the very foundation of every marriage for it to succeed. Jesus the cornerstone.
  • Fear of God and Obedience to His Word

The Bible instructs wives to submit to their own husbands in everything.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Eph. 5:24 NIV)

For those who haven’t embraced the Lord Jesus Christ and His Gospel of salvation, this would prove to be difficult (I know, I’ve been there), for the world teaches us to be independent. But even for those who have been redeemed and are walking after the Spirit and not after the flesh, this would seem to be daunting and challenging at times. I know because I face the same struggle every now and then.

But the thing that really prevents me from striving against my husband and trying to overpower him is my fear of God and the sin of disobedience to His Word. Having fear of God dilutes every strong negative emotion and neutralizes it into something that brings about amicable agreement.

My fear of God and my great desire to obey His Word stop me from fighting with my husband when we have disagreements or speaking in high-pitched tones when I’m irritated or provoked. In such difficult situations, this remembrance of His presence and His Word always makes me pause and think before I speak.

Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. (Ecc. 12:13)

  • Love

For what is a marriage without love? Love is the concrete mix that makes every component in a marriage stay knitted together, built up and sturdy. It is love that sees a married couple through their vows in sickness or in health, in sorrow or in gladness, in suffering or in celebration, in poverty or in wealth, until death do them part. A love that sacrifices and endures.

This love that we know and have is from God, but we need to water it for it to stay healthy and flourishing. We do it by regularly seeking the Lord’s face, worshiping with all our hearts and praying unceasingly, for it is God who gives the increase. Apart from God, we cannot have true, long and lasting love, for God is love. Sing to the Lord together and pray fervently together and for each other.

The Bible instructs wives to honor their husbands and the husbands to love their wives as their own bodies.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. (Eph. 5:28-29)

  • Prayer and Fasting

We can never discount the power of prayer with fasting. Just a short testimony:

My beloved husband and I hadn’t been in wonderful terms the past week. It seemed like there were feelings of heaviness and tiredness between us. I was feeling a bit piqued, too, hurt and sad overall. Then he left for the fasting house in a nearby province for three days to offer fasting and prayer. When he came back, everything was different. I cannot exactly describe it but the heaviness was lifted off and there was pure gladness and eagerness between us. It was like magic if I may say so. Just like that – the love was refreshed and the romance was rekindled.

The Lord has swept clean our hearts and minds of all negative thoughts and feelings. He made them fly away. This is the power of God working in our lives, for a marriage needs more. It needs more than us. It needs Him.

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  • Romance

Romance, the flame of love between a husband and wife, must not be neglected and left to dry up and wither. This is one thing I’m thankful to the Lord for and this I have told my husband – that his desire has never diminished through the years, from the first time we “knew” each other to this point in our married life. And I respond ardently, luxuriating in the pure pleasure of knowing each other and being one.

It’s a great thing to have date nights with our spouses, but even if we don’t have, simple pleasures that we share together should spark the romance.

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Marriage needs much more than all the efforts of a husband and wife combined, for marriage is a sacred thing ordained by God. There must always be a third-party in a marriage, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken(Ecc. 4:12 NLT)

Additional readings:

Also participating with Time-warp Wife’s “31 Days of Love Marriage Challenge”

12 comments on “Marriage Needs More: 5 Points for a Stronger Marriage

  1. Esther Joy says:

    Yes, Rina, marriage is always worth the effort it takes to keep it alive and wonderful, isn’t it?!

  2. Sis Fe says:

    Hi Sis Rina you made me cry with this article. I really miss my beloved husband. We are miles away from each other due to work requirements. Not having a husband to rely on in this strange country, I became more prayerful and learned to depend everything entirely on God. I do know that one day our dearest God will give us the opportunity to be together again. My consolation this time he’s only 2 hours or less away by plane.

    Our fear of God makes our relationship stronger. We’ve learned to respect and love each other all the more.

    God Bless you and your family.

    • RinaPeru says:

      Sis. Fe, I totally understand what you feel because I feel that way, too, when my bel. husband has business trips. I know it’s really hard for both of you but the Lord Jesus, He’s the one who strengthens you everyday. It’s best to be together always but if work dictates otherwise, technology has made a way for people to remain connected. Maybe you can Skype every time you’ve both free times :-)?

      God bless you so much,
      Sis. Rina

  3. Mackenzie says:

    Visiting from We are THAT family link party. Thanks for sharing. Marriage is so important! I blog about dating your spouse for similar reasons. You can visit me at http://www.fridaynightdatenight.blogspot.com
    -Mackenzie

  4. Lisa Maria says:

    What a wonderful post on marriage Rina! I love your points and have to agree with them wholeheartedly. I think that your point that we regularly have to ‘sweep clean’ our hearts is a very valid one and we clearly cannot do that without Jesus’ help.

    Thanks for a great post!

    God bless!

  5. gina l. labrador says:

    What a beautiful post Sis Rina! Truly, marriage for me is one of the greatest things that happened in my life. My husband and I, are now on our 14th year of being together……… we are blessed with two kids and I could really say that having HIM as the third-party in our life is a BLESSING……….HE made us HIS new creations……..

    Thanks to you Sis, more power! GOD BLESS

  6. Thank you for an inspirational post. It is so easy to just drift in the marriage relationship and let life happen around us. I’m encouraged to be more intentional about loving my husband with T-I-M-E to just be together.
    Blessings.

  7. Charlotte says:

    This is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful marriage. What a blessing you have been to us at Spiritual Sundays. Thank you for sharing again.
    Blessings,
    Charlotte

  8. This is so inspiring and encouraging. My husband and I have been married for 8 years and we have3 beautiful blessings and we try our best to model appropriate behavior for our children but at times we both fall short and we have found that forgiveness is a huge factor in our marriage. I admire your honesty regarding submission; it is nice to know that there are other wives out there that do struggle from time-to-time. Blessed are the peacemakers.
    God bless,
    Kat

  9. Lilly says:

    I’m from romania … I agree with the way this family is the same way of thinking to our own.I’m 38 years and mother of four children and wifeof a wounderful husband …we have a wonderful marriage because God’s Word. Praise Lord Jesus! … I wish you many blessings and grace

    • RinaPeru says:

      Dear Lilly, I’m thankful to the Lord for bringing you to my blog for it’s so heartwarming to meet somebody from Romania. I pray that God will continue to shine His light upon you and your beloved family and bless you more and more!

      Rina

      • Lilly says:

        Thank you very much we need prayer, we want to be models for our children and other young people and other families This is the work God has given us God bless you with more power and love and everything you need in your soul
        Jesus is coming very soon ! We pray for you too
        Lilly

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