For a mother of two still-very-young children (10 and 3), and who has gone through almost indescribable physical, mental, emotional agonies brought by intense physical suffering, time has become a very precious gift. A gift that I would pray agonizingly to be given to me – more years to serve Him, the God who redeemed and restored me, more years to rear my children, loving and nurturing them.
For me, time has really lived up to its classic description: TIME IS GOLD.
Illness does that to us. We realize how fragile life is, and we think of the years we’ve wasted – in lovelessness and/or self-absorption, perhaps?
…For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. (James 4:14)
In the thick of my suffering due to my illness, I cannot count the times that I had begged God to give me more time – another day to see my children and hold them. I wanted the suffering to end and begged God to add one more day, and one more, and one more…
We all want to grow old, in our gray hairs and wrinkled skin, and witness our children grow, finish education, marry, and start a family. We all want to see our grandchildren, play with them and tell them stories of long ago.
We want more time. We need more time. Oh, how we pray for MORE TIME! We ask for it from the hand of Him who holds all our tomorrows, the author of time Himself, yet inhabits eternity, a place where time knows no end. Would He please give us a tiny speck of eternity: some more time on this earth, more time to love, show love, give love*.
Wasn’t this the plea of Moses in Psalm 90?
So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)
And which is my fervent prayer, too:
O satisfy us early with thy mercy; THAT WE MAY REJOICE AND BE GLAD ALL OUR DAYS.
Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil. (Psalm 90: 14,15, emphasis added)
Yes, this is our utmost prayer: that the gift of time from the hand of God will be spent walking in His ways, everyday to be touched by Him, whether to learn one more lesson, to grow, to serve, but ALWAYS with His HEALING and RESTORATION of us at the end of the day.
Each day is a gift. A priceless gift (for we can’t buy time, can we?) that we should wholeheartedly thank God for. And like all other gifts from His hand which we open with awe and wonder, hold and cherish, so it’s what we do with time: we open our eyes to each and every day in awe and wonder, looking up, and always expecting and hoping for God’s grace being poured and spread over our lives.
And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us… (Psalm 90: 17)
It is so unwise to let time tick by worrying no end and busying ourselves with too much toil and neglecting what really matters – trusting in God and living in love. It’s for these reasons that our consciences hound us at the end of the day, tugging at our hearts with the questions: Have I held my children long enough when they came to me wanting to be cuddled? Have I listened to their stories and gazed deep into their eyes full of wonder and excitement? Have I told them I love them and seen their smiles, sweet smiles that always bring peace and joy?
It is foolishness to waste time in total indifference, hardheartedness, hatred, unforgiveness… And it is utterly unprofitable to let time go by not knowing Jesus more. For our days are given to be lived for Him, in Him, and through Him. So, whether we tend to the children, minister to the sick and suffering, share the Gospel to the lost, we do it ALL for His glory.
Let nothing of this gift of time be wasted, for it is so short, so fleeting. Like a vapor. But let it be spent and used in ways that honor God and give glory to Him. Let every moment of it be shared, enjoyed, relished, with the ones we love and with the ones who are in need.